Today, I'm just going to discuss the things that literally make me want to leave this planet once and for all.
Sometimes I plank on a table because head-desking is too much of an understatement.
Okay, so here's my list of no-gos:
- Douches -sure, they're everywhere, and they've been here for a long time, but don't you think that the world would be a better place if we were without ignorant, condescending idiots? They are the kind of people who really make life suck, and they don't even know it because they're too high on their mountain of crap to realise it. Honestly, if you know a douche, slap them ASAP. Slap a douche day should really become a national holiday or something, you know, because it's that one day where those people know their place once and for all.
- The duck face -we all know it. The duck face is basically a retarded, brain-dead version of the model's pout, and that those who do do it are perceived to be really dull. Please, don't do this unless you are professionally trained and paid to do it. Don't do the duck face when you don't even have the right lips for it. Yeah, on behalf of those who see your photos on Facebook, we do appreciate your confidence, but this idiocy wastes our electricity and posting space.
- Cake faces -honestly, I want to attack your orange faces with a baby-wipe. You basically chose the wrong shade of foundation and you look horrible. Stop being so insecure about your own skin and your own natural, individual features that make you seem unique and special. You are already beautiful, so you don't need all that coverage on you. The whole point of using cosmetics is to only cover your so-called "problem areas", and to enhance the strongest points of your face in order to make yourself appear more dynamic.
- No-lifers on the interwebs -I'm not talking about those who just play games and go on the computer 24/7. I'm referring to those who just have to change personalities into harsher, less respectful ones. Sure, you may say that I'm just being a sook about these things, and that I should "harden up", but really? If you don't like my opinion then you can jump off a bridge yourself. Don't we have something in life called "empathy" or maybe a kind of sensitivity in which we can understand where people come from in respect to their words? Seriously, I really feel like we should have a "slap a douche day".
- Sexism -this just annoys me. "Why aren't you in the kitchen?", "make me a sandwich"... Say that one more time, and I'll ask you where my expensive fur coat is, you lazy bum. We're not living in the 1920s any more. Sexist statements will lead you to hefty lawsuits and social bashing. Trust me, if we were in the kitchen for all of that time, then don't tell me that we're too "delicate" to even try and kill you with our knife set. The kitchen is a deadly and dangerous place, you know.
- Auto-tune -where is the REAL music, people? I want to actually hear talent, and hard-won effort.
- People who just don't shut up.
- Hypocrites -it's just that they confuse me. "Don't do this", but they do "this" either way? Sorry, but I'm more of a "practice what you preach" sort of person. I don't know which direction you are exactly heading towards.
- Back-stabbers -I dislike traitors in general. Most of all, I dislike it when people seem to bitch about their own friends. If you are just going to complain and complain, why are you even friends in the first place? Shouldn't you just talk to them about your problems instead of saying stuff behind their back?
- Literate people not using proper grammar -not trying to be a grammar nazi, but it annoys me when people who have had a vast education do not know where to place things within a sentence. It's supposed to be "you're", not "your". Stop mixing up homophones. And please, PLEASE, stop abbreviating everything. It just makes you look stupid.
Thanks for reading,
Wuv,
SSV
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